Confessions of a Peace Lover...

I was asked by our daughter's college roommate to answer some questions she'd been given in class. After I got over the shock - and momentary depression - of being considered a candidate to answer questions on "Adult Development and Aging" (cough cough) I quickly began to formulate my response to each question in my mind. As I began to write things down I realized that not only was I helping Miss Laura out for a class but I was also in the midst of a blog-in-progress. I won't post all of my responses here, but the following was my answer to her question of "would you be able to pass along any wisdom to me or to people just starting a career or a family?" - with just a few additions for the sake of this blog.

Wisdom for your generation: relationships matter more than we realize. Make sure you take time to honor those relationships closest to you. Too often they are the ones that get neglected! When you are young you are so invested in your work, paying your college debt and/or mortgage that you don't fully realize how quickly time passes and all the "little moments" can't be regained. While work IS important, and God's word reminds us again and again just how important it is, we also need to take time to rest - we are created in His image and even He took time to rest!

I have been writing a weekly blog for the past year, it has helped me recognize what is good, strong, healthy growth in my life, and what is "fluff" and won't really matter in the long run; it has also made me realize the importance of journaling. God told the children of Israel repeatedly to "write this down" and "teach it to your children", He must have had a good reason why!

I wish that when I was your age I would have:

taken the time early on to learn what the Bible has to say about finances;

saved $100 each month for the first ten years;

realized how quickly my kids would grow;

realized that what is in my heart and mind is so much more important than the clothes I wear, the car I drive, the house I live in (and how it's decorated);

realized that kids grow too fast to waste money on clothes that will make them look fashionable but force me to continue to work when I would rather be at home with them;

learned to set better boundaries with my friends, to be honest even when it was hard, and to continue to love when the going got tough instead of distancing myself.

I wish I had committed to the discipline of spiritual AND physical exercise on a daily basis. Spiritual health, physical health and emotional health go hand in hand!

I have learned much in 27 years of marriage and 24 years of parenting. Many of those lessons were learned thru mistakes that I made. I regret the stupid mistakes that affected my kids, yet I trust that they also received some good stuff along the way! My biggest regret is not getting serious about my relationship with Christ until after I was married and had kids.

I have learned that I've learned MORE from the tough times, (perhaps even the "stupid mistake" times) than I ever thought possible. I've learned that it's ok to say, "I'm sorry", "I was wrong" and "I need help". I've learned that it's ok to ask for advice. I've learned that as much as you love your spouse on your wedding day there will be times that you have to remind yourself why you got married! (And I think he might have had to remind himself too!) And I've learned my husband cannot read my mind!

I've learned that marriage is so much better when you remember you're on the same team; marriage is so much better when you stop trying to change your spouse and begin praying "Lord, change me": marriage requires honest communication.

I've learned that having a couple of friends ask you some tough questions each week helps you live life with greater focus, and helps get you back on track when you've misplaced your compass! Accountability is vital to healthy growth - physically, emotionally, and spiritually! When you don't allow yourself to be accountable to someone it is easy to live as if you are accountable to no one.

I've learned that just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

I've learned that it is impossible to give your kids too much love - but you can give them too much stuff!

I've learned that, just like potty training and tying shoes, a good work ethic needs to be taught; rarely does it happen without guidance.

I've learned that in regards to bad habits, more is caught than taught (and if I see a bad habit in my child the first place I need to look is probably in the mirror). I've learned that good habits unfortunately don't take root as quickly as bad habits do!

I've learned that God's word changes me from the inside out, and I've learned that even if I don't completely understand it that is no excuse to not read it.I don't completely understand the law of physics but I still depend on it!

I've learned to examine my activities carefully and to make sure it is something I want to give my time to. I've learned that if it is not something I want to give my time to and God has still led me to it He has a plan and a purpose that I simply cannot see. It is often in those circumstances that I have learned to trust Him more.

I've learned that prayer changes things, but most of all, prayer changes me.

I've learned to look for "fruit" to see if things are growing in a healthy manner - in my life, in our home, in the work that I do, and the relationships I am in.

I've learned that there are new things to learn each and every day!

Until next time.

Beth