Lacking Nothing

I had shared some time ago how my husband lost his job. Now here we are, three months later, still searching for a full-time position. Piecing together hours from two jobs, hoping they equal at least around 30 hours a week so we can stay on top of our bills. Both positions are considered PRN, so there are no guaranteed shifts. Between the lack of hours he also took a significant pay cut, and we just have to pray that whatever the check ends up being it's enough to meet our needs.

Along with that comes the disappointment and frustration of having made a step further in his career, only to have the opportunity taken away and now suddenly be three steps back, with very little prospects of any foreseeable jobs in the near future. Of having worked hard to earn a college degree that now seems to mean nothing, or at least, doesn't mean enough to land a job. Meanwhile it seems everyone around us is getting new jobs, new cars, and new babies. Needless to say we're a little discouraged.

So I'm sitting here, staring at the calendar, looking at my husband's shifts and thinking that there just isn't enough. I'm so tired of holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop and our lives to crumble into one big, financial mess, buried under the weight of so much debt and stress we can't see anything else. Sure, we're okay today, but what about tomorrow, or next week, or next month? When is it all finally going to end? When are we going to catch a break? Surely we deserve one by now.

And in the middle of my hopelessness, my stress, my anger, my frustration, my worry, and my fear, I catch the verse on the bright orange post-it note stuck to the bottom of my computer screen:

"But those that seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing." Ps 34:10

Father, how quickly I forget that this life is not about comfort, it's not about money or security or any other earthly treasure. It is about spending my days seeking You. Earnestly running after You, following hard, dropping everything when You call my name. You are above and beyond everything I need. You are bigger than a job, bigger than a paycheck, and big enough to meet every need that I have. I am lacking nothing when I have You, for in You I find comfort and security and a place to lay my burdens down. I am not missing out on anything, for in You I find every good thing there is that's worth having.

Emily