Confessions of a Peace Lover...

Sub-title: "Of Eggshells and Beach Houses" - strange title, eh? And it really has nothing to do with cooking or vacation! I've been thinking a lot lately about relationships, about how fragile some are and how resilient some are.

Several weeks ago a couple of friends came over to work on a Circle of Friends event. Due to busy schedules we chose a time that was rather late for me, (only an hour or so from my bedtime!) I wasn't too sure how creative I would be. But we needed to meet, needed to get a few more things in writing. We had a great time coming up with workshop themes and titles - some that we may even be able to use! But the best part of the evening was the laughter, the friendship, the camaraderie, even amidst the bedtime yawns!

After they left I looked at my husband and said "I love my friends!" His immediate response was "What did they do?" I tried to explain that it really wasn't anything anyone did; it was just the being together. I have wonderful friends!

His question kept stirring around in my brain the following day. What is it that makes friendship so special? What was it about an evening spent with friends, working on a project and drinking some coffee that can fill my tired heart with joy? I processed much throughout that day, and when evening came I was ready to explain myself to my hubby.

"I can be open, honest, genuine, ME, with my friends; I can say what I'm thinking and if they don't agree they ask me to explain more, they help me think, they tell me when they think I'm off course, they make me laugh, and sometimes cry - and it goes both ways."

My wise husband listened and then said "You don't have to worry about easily offending each other." (note to self, he used ten words compared to my more than 50, hmmm.=) To which I responded "Yes, that's it! 'Not easily offended' - I don't have to walk on eggshells around them!"

The kind of friendship I was trying to put into words is a solid relationship, built on a good foundation. There will be work with it but the right tools are available to keep it maintained; it has been built to be lived in and enjoyed. Those types of relationships don't just happen; it takes time to build them properly, much like building a house. And the feeling of being refreshed after time spent reminds me specifically of time spent in a "beach house"!

These are the relationships that can get packed up, taken along, shook out, endure a little rain, and a lot of sunshine; the ones that sometimes sting (from too much sunshine!) but most often leave a healthy glow; the ones that know storms will come and storms will go but you trust the foundation to stand; the ones that understand that sometimes the waves come rolling in and you need a hand to pull you up out of the water, and the ones that also realize that sometimes it's my hand that will be doing the pulling.

A "beach house" friendship is not a relationship where you walk gingerly around and about fragile places. If we're honest, we all have those types of fragile relationships; they are the "eggshells" in the subtitle.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying the relationships that require more care are throw-away relationships. I have some BEAUTIFUL hand painted eggshells that I keep in my china hutch, they are worth saving, protecting, admiring.but I wouldn't take them on vacation with me 'cause they might get damaged!

I have "eggshell" friendships, and I have "beach house" friendships. They both have unique beauty and enjoyment. But honestly, most of us would rather spend a day at a beach house than an hour holding a fragile eggshell.

The question I find myself asking in all of this is not "Which of my friends are eggshells, which are beach houses?" But "What kind of friend am I?"

Do I want to be the beautiful, yet fragile, friend that's appreciated and admired, but rather cautiously? Or do I want to be the sturdy, sometimes messy, but oh so refreshing friend who can enjoy the sunshine and weather the storms of life?

God's word says "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (I Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV)

For me that translates into "Love the 'eggshells', but BE the 'beach house'!"

Until next time.
Beth